Living Life!

 

27^th July 2025   Day 23234

 

Today and in the next few blogposts, I shall put into words, a set of relevant learnings about “Living Life” that I have garnered in my journey of 23233 days thus far.

Looking back on the days behind me, I feel a tremendous sense of gratitude for all the experiences that I have had. Without looking at them as good or bad experiences, I choose to look at each of them as a learning opportunity and a step up in my evolution in this lifetime.

1.       Never Alone. At every major decision point in my life thus far, I seem to have had the right gumption, triggered by some unseen, unfelt FORCE around me. For want of a better word, I choose to name this force as GRACE. I now realise that I have never been alone in all those moments. In fact, I know now that I am never ever alone. No one is alone. There is Grace and Abundance everywhere indeed.

 

The greater the awareness and receptivity to this grace & abundance, better is the way we navigate through life.

 

2.       Infinite Potential. Each of us have the ability to make our lives most colourful and very interesting and impactful. Looking beyond our limiting beliefs and conditioning by social / peer pressures, one can get a glimpse of this immense possibility of being human. Looking back at each of our experiences, one can seek take-aways on what worked for us and also, what could have worked better for us. Crafting a strategy to continuously expand one’s boundaries is a powerful way to Live. This requires CURIOSITY to learn, COURAGE to explore and HUMILITY to accept that I don’t know so many things.

 

One has to make a choice. To tap into one’s unlimited potential. To live a life of mediocrity or a Life Maximum!

 

3.       School of Hard Knocks. Not every effort has led to the desired outcomes. Some experiences have been rude awakenings. Some have been major disasters or disappointments. Many experiences have panned out very differently from what was envisaged and some outcomes have been unpleasant. Many occasions where our deepest yearnings and longings have never materialised at all. A sense of desperation and frustration creeps in many times. I have had the capacity to step out of these quagmires and swamps. To believe, to persevere and to emerge into better times. Each event like this, has left me with immense learnings and has provided me with sustenance to navigate through the rough and tumble of life.

 

Every tough / “not-so-comfortable” situation in one’s life, comes for a reason. It is upon us to make the best out of it and emerge stronger and wiser.

 

4.       Limited Time. Recognising that it is not time that is slipping away, but in reality, one’s LIFE that is slipping away. While this moment is inevitable, it will never come back again. There is no action-replay mode in life. It is ideal to measure our Life in moments and not years. It may be impractical to measure every second of our Life. At least we can measure our life in days and not years. Every morning when we wake up and discover that we are alive, is a new birth. A gift of another day. A gift of 86400 seconds. Each of which is irreversible. It is upon us to recognise this reality of the value of time and make the most of every moment.

 

 

In this moment, I choose to Live My Life To The Maximum! Focus intensely on my perception of this moment and invest my efforts in extracting the biggest impact for me and every piece of creation around me.

 

More to follow in the next post. Stay ALIVE !

 

Live Life To The Maximum!

 

Quality over Quantity

 21st July 2025       Day 23228

My mother-in-law turns 95 next month. 

She had a medical emergency on 02 July and was rushed to GKNM Hospital, where she spent 17 days and returned home on 19th July. Of those 17 days at GKNM, she was in ICU for 5 days and in a very comfortable private room for the remaining days. 

All in the family are rejoicing her return home……and wishing that she be the centurion in the family! 

She is hooked into an Oxygen concentrator, a BiPAP machine, a Nebulizer, an Oxymeter, a catheter and a potpourri of 17 oral solid dosage medicines and an array of syrups, lotions and creams. She is lying prone on an airbed, with diapers and underpads. Her plumbing mechanisms are down and hence needs assistance to manage her liquid and solid excretion. 

Is this LIFE? Is this the “quality” of life that we would wish on our beloved family member? However much others in the family may urge you to do to “extend” her lifetime, do they even fathom what she has to endure? The ignominy, the pain, the distress and the sheer helplessness? And also the very important aspect of the many challenges that the caregivers have to experience? 

She is a woman who enjoys playing Sudoku and word games like Quordle and Wordle on her Samsung tablet. She enjoys writing messages that spell out her vivid imaginations related to images of flowers in the Karaikudi Brigade WhatsApp group. She enjoys tasty food, pickles,.spiced papads, ghee etc. She does her finger mudras for all aspects of health. She relishes a few Tamil TV serials a d also a few programs on TV that show live temple rituals and shlokas etc. She enjoys mathematics as a subject. She loves watching English news on TV. She used to walk twice a day albeit with a walker for support. This is the Shyamala Gopal we know. Living her life to the fullest. 

Does sheer quantity (number of additional days alive) override the aspect of quality? How long will you tinker around with a beat up car and keep repairing it…and when will you trade it in for a new vehicle? 

Life does not mean just staying alive and breathing…it means that we experience all aspects of life to the fullest and truly staying “alive”. 

Let us wish that everyone lives their life to the fullest and richest experience. Let us not merely wish that they live longer…..let them live to the fullest. 

Live Life To The Maximum!

Mummy Returns!

 20 July 2025   Day 23227

Shyamala Gopal’s health condition improved last week. I had to travel away from Coimbatore between 14^th – 18^th of July and we were all concerned about her health condition at GKNM. Luckily. she progressed well and the Doctors were keen to discharge her last week. We deferred it till 19^th July.

Had to make arrangements for some critical medical apparatus at home before she could be brought back home. An air bed, O₂ Concentrator, Nebulizer, BiPAP Machine, Backrest, Patient gowns and consumables like under-pads, adult diapers, gloves etc too were organised. A dependable lady care-attendant too had to be arranged on a full-time stay basis.

The discharge from the hospital happened at 1500 on Saturday 19^th July. The night drifted off reasonably well with a few alarms from the BiPAP machine alerting us and needing some minor adjustments.

The essential issue was one of depleted O₂ levels that had plummeted to 55 and an accompanied elevation in CO₂. This needed a Nebulizer, Oxygen concentrator, NIV, BiPAP etc. An UTI plus lung infection needed strong antibiotics via IV. And a urinary catheter too. Infection came under control and now her O₂ levels are stabilising because of the Concentrator and BiPAP.

Her mental alertness has not diminished. Her physical strength in the lower limbs is very poor. The learning is that as we age, we need to ensure that our body flexibility, especially the hips and lower limbs, have to be taken care of.

Deep gratitude to GKNM team (Emergency, ICU Ward 43 Block C and also at Room B407 Ward 50 Block B) for all their care and attention. Gratitude to Lakshmi Canteen at GKNM for their food and beverages. Thanks to the various Red Taxi drivers for ferrying us to and fro. Thanks to the team at the carousel parking at GKNM, Thanks to the Hitwin team and Sun Surgicals for providing all the Medical Equipment (Rentals and Purchases). Thanks to InHouse Medicare for providing Attendants.

So, Mummy Returns home. While Shyamala Gopal is easing her way back out of the emergency, last night my mother Lakshmi Parameswaran (age 90 Yrs) had breathing difficulty and elevated heartbeats at InHouse Medicare. ECG is ok. Visited her today and awaiting test reports. Blood test and Urine test done. Doc may want to do an Echo tomorrow.

This week also had a three -ay workshop by IIT GDC at IITM Research Park for a Cohort of 8 teams being incubated at IITM Pravartak. Enjoyed the role of an Instructor. Had to travel to Chennai 14^th – 18^th for this.

Vishal and Nirmala rallied around very well and managed the situation at GKNM, the home-front and coordinating with external service providers.

Together we have tided over this small emergency. Deepest gratitude for that.

Live Life To The Maximum!

Ageing and hospitalisation

 

13 July 2025   Day 23220

On Wednesday the 2^nd of July, Nirmala’s mother and my mother-in-law Shyamala Gopal (she turns 95 next month on 17^th August) was admitted to the Emergency Ward and then subsequently into the ICU @ GKNM Hospital. She had tremendous weakness of her lower limbs, breathlessness and tremendous amount of dry coughing during the days leading up to 02 July. Through the GKNM’s homecare system (of which both our mothers are members) A Geriatric Doctor (Dr Dinesh) and his medical team came home for a check up on 2^nd July, drew a blood sample for culture and testing and advised immediate hospitalisation. An ambulance arrived at around 1730, and she was moved to the emergency ward there. After a triage, she was admitted to the ICU there later that night.

The initial diagnosis was UTI, some infection in the lungs, indicated by higher retained CO₂ levels and very poor O₂ levels. We found GKNM’s professional services to be quite efficient especially at the Emergency Ward. Medical Care for geriatric seniors at top hospitals like GKNM is frightfully expensive though. One day’s charges at the ICU can set you back close to ₹ 60 k.

Despite this, we found the waiting hall outside the ICU Ward 43 filled with many folks from the rural countryside, for whom this sort of an expenditure was a visible strain. One could hear many of them speaking over the phones to their kin about scrambling and arranging money for the treatments at GKNM.

After one night at the ICU, I pit together a small kit to make the overnight stay reasonably comfortable for the attendant. (A jamakaalam, a porvai, a cushion, battery pack and charger, water bottle, mosquito spray etc.) The three-seater steel benches seemed like a good idea initially to stretch and sleep, but one could feel the ribs of the seats and the slope made it difficult to keep the body stable. Plan B was to grab a 6 ft x 2 ft space on the floor to spread the jamakaalam and lie down.

The entire housekeeping staff at GKNM is mainly Assamese boys and girls. The stretcher staff at the entrance to handle incoming patients in ambulances, is also only Assamese boys. Some contractor has smartly established this manning process and seems to be providing workers to GKNM. Wondered about the compulsions of these young Assamese people who are adventurous enough (and compelled to also, I guess) to seek work and a means of earning money in a state which is far away from their hometown. Different language, cuisine, culture….but adapting well.

Pondered about ageing and the advancement in medical technology and hospital care. The various tests, the quick diagnosis, the different sensors and medical equipment to provide real-time data to the nursing staff and Doctors. Was also wondering about the real “quality of life”. What should one do to avoid complete lack of control of your bladder, incontinence, loss of strength in the lower limbs etc. And when would you decide that aggressive medical care to sustain life in an ageing body is enough. It is like putting new spare parts into a 1930’s car and keeping it humming, but moving at a snail’s pace on the road.

As on date, she has been in the hospital for 11 nights now. While she came out of the ICU (to a very comfortable room #B407 in Ward 50) after the first three days, she had to be rushed back to the ICU on 06^th July as her O₂ levels plummeted. Root cause was that the BiPAP machines output probably did not reach her lungs on account of her neck position!!  A probable medical negligence by the nursing staff at Ward 50? Another two nights in the ICU.

As I write this post, she has been out of the ICU now for 5 days. The physiotherapist advised her on some basic muscle exercises, and she has taken to them seriously. So as of now it is a wait and watch situation and eventually must gear up the home-front with suitable technology to make her comfortable. A BiPAP machine, O₂ cylinder, reclining bed etc must be organised soon.

Living Life To The Maximum!

What does it actually mean to FORGIVE?

 

Gratitude + Forgiveness

Two practices that I have seriously attempted, both of which have helped immensely, are:

-          The attitude of GRATITUDE

-          The practice of FORGIVENESS.

Relatively speaking, the first one is easier to adopt. What worked for me is the state of conscious awareness at all times. Which in turn helps me to express gratitude. Simple things like when water flows from a tap when I open it. Or when the light comes on when I switch on the bulb. Or when a parking bay is available at the right spot and at the right time. When a new dawn breaks and I am still alive. When someone helps in any small way. When food is put on the plate. When I am able to help others in some way. Gratitude for every breath that I take and for the sheer fact that one feels alive and active.

The second one, i.e the practice of FORGIVENESS is much tougher and has been an uphill climb. To forgive does not mean that you forget. Forgiveness does not mean merely stopping negative emotions but also starting positive emotions.

Today I came across this article titled “What Does It Actually Mean to Forgive?” by Robert Enright in the Greater Good Science Center magazine and it explained the various nuances, interpretations and practice of Forgiveness quite well. Possibly many of us may be struggling with FORGIVENESS and may benefit by reading this article.  Hence, taking the liberty of sharing this article here.

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_does_it_actually_mean_to_forgive?utm_source=Greater+Good+Science+Center&utm_campaign=672b3c6616-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_GG_Newsletter_July_8_2025&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5ae73e326e-672b3c6616-76032571

 

Live Life To The Maximum!

09 July 2025   Day 23216

Career and Family! More memories.

Sunday 06^th July 2025          Day 23213

1984-1994: Career, Matrimony, Parenthood

-          Campus recruitment Alok Dutta and Anil Sachdev.

-          02 July 1984 Eicher, Faridabad. G.E.T period starts off.

-          Many new friends mainly from P.E.C Chandigarh.

-          Badminton etc at Escapade.

-          The Eicher HR team: Meenakshi Dua, Deepika Sondhi.

-          First module at Alwar! Matsya Industrial Estate. Quality Control!

-          GET house at Alwar, Cycling to Sariska, Prem Pavitra Bhojanalaya!

-          NDT of G85 Crankshaft. P L Raina!!! Pyare Lal Raina.

-          Second Module in Materials Faridabad. Vendors, Rocker arm shaft.

-          Jakes Menon (Jaikumar). His Jawa motorcycle.

-          Running around to vendor locations in the Eicher Yezdi motorcycle.

-          Fried fish near Anupam Theatre. Gorilla Beer at GET Bachelorhouse.

-          The Alsatian dog of the Big Chief Girl!

-          Salami from Essex farm, fresh bread, beer and other fun activities.

-          Mallik of Materials DET and his gun toting friends!

-          Third module at ERC Ballabgarh. Doc Satyamurthy.

-          Good place but not much of a stretch and not many learnings.

-          Fourth and final module in Tractor Marketing.

-          Region 2 Haryana, Arun Kumar and Ashok Mehra.

-          Karnal Surendar of Green Tractors, Dr Bambha of Nirmal Tractors, Assandh, Ladwa, Pipli, Kaithal, Pehowa, Yamuna Nagar, Jagadhri, Panipat.

-          Karnal Dairy institute

-          Area office in Karnal.

-          STD calls in the nights to Bombay. Fixed time, PP calls.

-          Region 3 Ghaziabad office. Western UP dealers. Shamli, Muzaffarnagar etc

-          Region 8 A MP, Bhopal Area office.

-          Arera Colony Bachelor pad with Britannia folks Vijaykumar Venkatraman, Kumar and Ramanathan. Dus Number market!

-          Kirti Ashar and his astrology, palmistry, Vital Soya bean cooking oil.

-          Cooking food for us bachelors and cleaning up!

-          Afternoon Gin. KK Vij, Satenapally Anand, Nair, Raghu, Bhatnagar.

-          Bhopal, Vidisha, Shivpuri, Gwalior, Morena, Bhind, Neemuch, Sanawad, Ujjain, Sagar, Damoh, Satna, Jabalpur, Ashoknagar!!!

-          Gwalior Mela, Shared Auto Rides, India Coffee House.

-          Eicher International Ltd Masjid Moth, GK II

-          DDA Sheikh Sarai Bachelor House

-          Yamaha RX100 and the accident. AIIMS and recovery.

-          Fun at Bachelor House during recovery from left ankle fracture.

-          Matrimonial advertisement, Proposals, Kripa Nagar, NS.

-          Travelling around the world for Eicher International.

-          May 6^th Engagement, Shaadi 03^rd Nov in 1991

-          Vasant Kunj apartment life

-          First car Maruti 800 DAC 6691.

-          SSB Muscat and back from IECC. 1993 – May 1994.

-          NMIMS few semesters

-          VS arrives, Parenthood 30 Aug 1994

-          Chase Bright Steel, Alok Jajodia, Vipin Sanghani.

-          AKB at Ramon and Demm

-          Back to Eicher Delhi. NS, VS at Kripa Nagar, Irla.

-          C9 Lalan Joy’s house on rent

-          Delhi – Mumbai, long distance

From bachelorhood to fatherhood.

Memories of some remarkable years

 

Sunday 29^th June 2025          Day 23206

High School & College days. 1974-1984 Chembur, Bombay and IIT Madras

-          In SIWS Wadala till Class VI. Shifted to Shrinagar CHS in 1974 for Class VII and beyond.

-          General Education Academy, Chembur.

-          Walking above the tracks on the overbridge at the railway station to school. 20 minutes’ walk.

-          Nataraj Theatre. Passed by many times. Not seen a single movie there!

-          Vacation trips to Trichur by train. Hold-All, packed food, Chikki at Lonavala, Bathing at Arakkonam, curd-rice and lemon-rice in a banana leaf.

-          Singing Surangani when Bina manni came to Grandpas home after her marriage to Ambi mama.

-          Made Nankatai at GEA.

-          Getting hauled before the principal for some trivial fun during cooking class.

-          Chemistry in the Chemistry Lab !!

-          Shopping for veggies etc along with dad and mom at Chembur.

-          Buying Phillips coffee powder. The aroma of fresh coffee powder.

-          Buying rice, wheat and sugar etc at ration shop.

-          Carrying wheat to the chakki for grinding into flour.

-          Reading Oliver Strange’s SUDDEN and Perry Mason novels

-          Circulating library Famous Five, Secret Seven, James Hadley Chase etc

-          Playing Cricket in the ground at Shrinagar CHS. 

-       Losing my special steel scale / ruler at GEA. Getting hassled by Dancing, Vishwas Pathak, Sudhir Puthran. Keeping them at bay.  

-          Doing well in the 10^th Standard exam in 1977.

-          Getting admission to SIES College Sion. Travel by train to Koliwada Station (GTB Nagar) and then walking to SIES.

-          No more school uniforms.

-          Hustle and bustle in the local trains. Sometimes changing over at Kurla station. Harbour Line and Main Line changes.

-          Laboratory classes at SIES!!! What a “chemistry” there.

-          Aggarwal classes at Dadar and prep for IIT JEE

-          1011 A.I.R in 1979. Choice of IIT-B vs IIT-M. Good sense prevailed and selected IIT-M

-          Hostel days at Mandakini Year 1. July 1979 onwards. Room 224.

-          Learning to cycle with Ramesh

-          Learnt to swim and play water polo.

-          Weight training at the gym.

-          Early morning jogs at the stadium.

-          Eggs, Beef, Fish, Chicken in the hostel mess.

-          Bald hair-cut, sling bags and bicycles.

-          Cigarettes, Beedis, Liquor, weed.

-          Jethro Tull over pot-speakers.

-          Working out in the room Saras 260.

-          Saturday night movies at OAT.

-          Books, VCR tapes etc.

-          Photography experiments.

-          Plain uthappam and red onion chutney. Heavenly indeed.

-          Veg biryani with fried pieces of bread squares.

-          Milli pouches at Taramani.

-          Special treats at Liu’s Waldorf.

-          Train travel Madras to Bombay and back.

-          1979 – 1984. The five years that made me a bold man.

-          The best five years of my life till then. Friendships forged for a lifetime.

-          The Mukand Iron and Steel internship. Their canteen food!

-          The BARC internship and their Scanning Electron Microscope!

-          GRE, admissions, placement opportunities. The Eicher job.

-          Plans for Faridabad and Delhi.  

Hostel life 1979 – 1984. While I learnt how Steel is made, those five years made me. 

Deepest gratitude for AIR 1011, IIT-M admission, life at Mandak and Saras.